Monday 23 October 2017
Rylee 100WC T4W2
Sweat fizzes down my spine as I take another unexpected step. I slowly hear the door open and freeze, racing up the stairs I open the first door. Buttons. Jars full of them slipping off the shelves. As the door slammed, I knew I needed to get out of this horror house. I hear the mysterious man load the gun as he starts to walk up the steps. Stuffing myself in the corner, I try to breath as slow as I can. Next thing I know the door is flat down and a boot glides through. “ Time to play, Jimmy”........
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I love your ending because it's a cliff drop and it's an exciting one. Maybe next time think about a comma in "racing up the stairs i open the first door.
ReplyDeleteWow! What an incredible cliff hanger ending! I enjoyed reading your 100WC this week Rylee. Your sentences have started in some very interesting ways, which has made me want to read more. Thank you for your hard work and effort.
ReplyDeleteMrs McG (Team 100WC)
Derbyshire, England