My friend Miela and I were on a bush walk.
It was a really beautiful walk. There was
heaps of beautiful blossoming trees and
ponds, with gorgeous lily pads. There was
a bridge overtop of a pond. It was the
biggest pond out of all of the ones we’d see.
As we got closer we could see two things
pointing out of the water. Eventually we
realised what they were, it was
someone’s legs. We looked closer
and at the bottom of the pond we
could see the man’s head. It was
pale and he wasn’t breathing,
He was dead!
Sunday 15 October 2017
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Remember to put commas in the right place for sentences and use more full stops, but good story.
ReplyDeleteI really like your describing words like blossoming and gorgeous.
ReplyDeleteRemember next time to use the right words like: out of all we'd seen not see.
I liked how you used lots of descriptive words. Next time double check your punctuation.
ReplyDelete