Thursday 17 August 2017

Grace

Hi my name tommy I am I  happy little guy. I love sardines and squid. I have everything I could ever want , a full tummy , a nice warm clam shell to live in. Ah my life is pretty good. I love being a seal. I have the biggest race ever tomorrow i have been training for so long. All the sea creatures get together and swim around the island 2 times. I have been training for ages. My biggest competition is billy billy the seahorse he won it last year and when i was walking home from fish school i saw him training.I hope i do well this year wish me luck.
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11 comments:

  1. Anonymous17 August 2017 at 19:35

    Next time you write maybe right about me

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  2. Anonymous17 August 2017 at 19:36

    Next time you write maybe write use a variety of sentence hahahahahaahhahahahhahhahahahahahahahahaah

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  3. Anonymous17 August 2017 at 19:37

    I enjoyed reading this because Tommy seems like a goof and a gaf. Think about adding capital T for Tommy
    ~Benji xD

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  4. Anonymous17 August 2017 at 19:38

    I really liked your cute names and how you did it from the seals perspective.
    Next time maybe you could use upper case I's instead of lower case ones.

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  5. Anonymous17 August 2017 at 19:39

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  6. Anonymous17 August 2017 at 19:41

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  7. Anonymous17 August 2017 at 19:41

    I really liked your story but some of it didn't make sense for example- Hi my name tommy I am I happy little guy.

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  8. Anonymous17 August 2017 at 19:46

    I really liked this bit 'I have the biggest race ever tomorrow i have been training for so long' because he is ready for his race.

    I think you need to make more sense in 'Hi my name tommy I am I happy little guy' because it does not make sense.
    Max

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  9. Anonymous17 August 2017 at 19:48

    I really liked your story!
    Don't forget your grammar, ca[ital I's and commars

    Poppy :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous17 August 2017 at 19:52

    Good story line. It's just some of the story didn't make sense.

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  11. Anonymous17 August 2017 at 20:00

    Good job Grace! Really liked the way you wrote from Tommy's perspective, he seems like a great character.Next time use your grammar correctly and make sure all the characters names have capital letters.
    - Rylee

    ReplyDelete

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