Tuesday 29 August 2017

Corbin 100WC T3W6

I was bathing in the sun then suddenly it went dark. I looked up to the sky but I couldn't see anything, something was blinding my eyes and that something was the eclipse. Even putting on my dark sunglasses I still couldn’t see. I took a photo, but the photo was just a bright blurb in the sky. Is this where the sun is going to blow up the earth. Well that’s not good. Maybe I’ll just take a walk down the road and be free before I die. Then it disappeared I yelled out, “well that was nothing”.

3 comments:

  1. I like the storyline, but you could work on adding more words and punctuation to parts like 'then it disappeared I yelled out' and 'is this some kind of thing where the sun is going to blow up the earth.'

    ReplyDelete
  2. I like the storyline and how it shows the recent eclipse. I cant think of much you could improve on.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I like the story line and the picture you added. Next time make sure you read over your story and look for any punctuation.
    Sam

    ReplyDelete

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