“Hey joey what you up to mate!” Noah shouted from the other side of ragged rocks. “Oh yeah just getting a good old afternoon suntan” Joey shouted back. They both made their way to the top of the of the sharp and slippery rocks to get a view of what they were going to try and hunt. They spotted their targets and made their way back down it would take hours for them to get down they are as slow as a snail. All of a sudden Noah slipped up and Joey burst out with laughter and couldn’t stop he fell to the ground and almost couldn’t breath.
Monday 14 August 2017
2 comments:
I really liked . . . because . . .
I really liked the way you . . .
I enjoyed reading this because . . .
It was especially good when you . . . because . . .
I think you need to . . . because . . .
Next time you write . . .
Think about adding . . .
Have you thought about . . .
To improve your . . . try . . .
Perhaps you could . . .
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I really like joey, Joey sound cool
ReplyDeleteI liked it when you used describing words like ragged.
ReplyDeleteMaybe next time you could introduced what animal you are writing about.