Sunday 27 August 2017

Alice WK6 T3 100WC

Kayla and her teenage friends snuck out to a midnight party. “OMG this is going to be the best night ever!!” Kayla said enthusiastically to her friends. They all agreed and the night went on…… Then suddenly it went dark and mass amounts of gunfire went off. Everyone screamed and scattered in all directions, including Kayla who started to regret sneaking out as she attempted to run away from danger. People around her dropped around her like dead flies. Please, please not me, I will never run away again!!! Kayla said miserably in her head. Then everything went black quickly…..
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6 comments:

  1. Anonymous30 August 2017 at 09:48

    Perhaps you could make it less violent, but it does tell you why you shouldn't sneak out of school or your home.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous30 August 2017 at 09:51

    It recalling interesting and I teaches us a lesson about sneaking out.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous31 August 2017 at 19:07

    Good job Alice I like how your story creates suspense. Something to work on is maybe having less violence.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous31 August 2017 at 19:18

    Wow Alice, very intriguing story. I liked how you made a very different story from the rest. Maybe next time use from descriptive words.
    Natasha

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous31 August 2017 at 19:24

    Nice Alice it's a good story maybe work on your sentences making sense for example, People around her dropped around her like dead flies. Good job

    ReplyDelete

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